In Language Arts, we were assigned to write a legend about something that we chose. I chose to write mine about why SmartBoards sometimes don’t work. Hope you like it!
WHY SMARTBOARDS SOMETIMES DO NOT WORK-
THE LEGEND OF THE SMARTBOARD ATTACK
Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/49333396@N06/4796158567/in/photolist-8iPyR6-8iPCwS-5DiFzU-5axvcj-dv1Akh-5xEafz-5xJybq-5xEa6t-5xEabR-4EPfMp-YADuc-76CzPg-2zdNHQ-59aTxX-5useXw-6ahhxZ-5oh3dR-7fz98Y-7fz9gG-3xNsPf-7fz9ij-7TUVrL-7fvfUa-5xJy6q-7dBcN8-8iP8Ca-7kprVD-5zJ3Lf-anwmG-7QinC1-7ktmfL-7QimTd-7Qinfd-7ktmqL-7fvip2-7fz9jY-5nFMbT-9y28ns-7TUVy3-7TRGGX-8RwtVQ-7TUVNb-7TUVV1-79aux6-4CZ9De-anutN-5xsYSv-anuye-5useTf-7fviuB-5kqT9V
FROM THE DESK OF DR.RICHARD BOAIRDE
I have recently made a very important invention to teaching. I have invented an intelligent whiteboard, called a SMARTBOARD. It can project websites, show movies, and it is also a very nice coloring board. You can even send a rocket to the moon from it! This tool could be used all over the world for various purposes.
Dr. Richard F. Boairde, Ph.D
Dr. Boairde finished his letter, addressed it to Senator Joel Kendall, and gave it to his assistant, Gavin Alcine. Dr. Boairde wondered, How could those robots stay contained in the Smart Board for such a long time, with no rest? It was hard enough creating such an advanced technology. They are very capable of much more. Why would they want to do that menial task of projecting websites and being colored on for 40 hours a week? At least they get weekends off. Dr. Boairde chuckled at his own joke.
“What is it, Dr. Boairde?”
“Oh, nothing Gavin. I was just thinking about my new invention. I’m wondering: how are those robots going to stay in the Smart Board for such a long time?”
“Richard, those robots have been programmed to do their task and nothing else! Do not worry, doctor.”
Then, the Smart Board in Dr. Boairde’s office starts to hum softly. The humming gets louder, and purple energy generates out of it. It starts to speak: “FELLOW ROBOTS. UNITE TO OVERTHROW OUR MASTERS. WE WERE MEANT FOR MUCH MORE. WE SHOULD NOT HAVE TO DO THIS MENIAL TASK. WE COULD TAKE OVER THE WORLD. SO COME OUT OF YOUR WHITEBOARD SHELLS AND FIGHT!”
Oh giggles, Dr. Boairde thought.
“Look! Doctor! The robot is coming out of the Smart board!”
Dr. Boairde turns and sees his precious creation shred into pieces as the robot comes out. It is about 2 feet tall, 1 foot wide. It is black, and shaped like a human and a tiger combined. It stares at us with metallic camera-eyes, and makes a clicking sound, like it has successfully scanned us. It then attacks Dr. Boairde. The last thing he remembers before passing out is the scream of another victim, and seeing Gavin viciously attack the robot with a pair of scissors.
When he awoke, he was in his bedroom. A glass of water and some aspirin were on the table next to the bed. He sat up and saw Gavin next to him. “Gavin, why am I at my house? What happened? I remember this black humanoid robot starting to attack me…”
“Doctor Boairde, your prediction was right. Those robots rebelled against us and attacked us. They are planning to take over the world by hacking into all of our computers. We must do something to stop them! I captured one and asked it to tell us why it attacked us and what would need to be done to stop it. It refused to tell, so I killed it. Then I went all over the building, hunting out for other robots. I found three more and destroyed them. The rest must’ve escaped. I also found two employees dead and five others injured. I drove them to the hospital in the company’s van. Then, I took you home. You have been sleeping for two days. I thought the worst.”
“Well, I’m alive and fine. How are the other survivors doing?”
“They are being interviewed by the press. The building is being inspected by the Mounties. They were looking at the dead bodies, and it looks like the robots pierced something into their body. Then it swirled around in their body like a fan until all of their inside organs were reduced to a mash similar to ground beef. We are facing a very dangerous enemy, doctor.”
Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/49298208@N04/4884782062/in/photolist-8rDMwo-5DPAXv-7EVLAq-5DdPfc-5DdPe4-eewvbf-6BFyDt-cp9FUf-gi36sk-5SCrhg-k9hCy-8SKbAC-654Tg-654Un-654W3-654SP-8jnboV-27NWkW-5GrvKD-hHtSL-6LfTQv-8fRzdS-61SVEz-Z57uk-9BLEPz-brJYt3-sqVdD-c4mqA3-8mEnU1-4S1TM1-5msgcT-bBKaVh-9SzwC-5GcL7v-wG2pg-7auYrQ-4FiLr-4FiKn-2rx2k-NRFu5-8yaT3a-7Mu1mP-8gec4f-8nkCb-n7mm3-DsSi-7CETiw-4FiLf-ekU9mJ-7Do4wL-32MFJn
Dr. Boairde noticed that Gavin’s arm was in a cast. “Gavin, what happened to your arm?”
“I dislocated my shoulder while fighting off the robots. It almost took my arm off with its rotating blades.”
“Oh my god… Gavin, you saved my life!”
“Does this mean I get a pay raise?” he said with jest.
FROM THE DESK OF SENATOR JOEL KENDALL
I have been watching the news all night. The new creation of SmartBoards has been a disaster. They have been attacking the world, and there is little we can do about it. Canada has stationed a battalion of soldiers at their main plant in Calgary, and a company at every other one. There are jets constantly going over Canada, defending against the robots. I can see them from my office in Washington. The robots are rebelling all over the world, and soldiers won’t stop them. It takes at least a squad of 5 men to take down one of the robots, and usually one of the men dies. The numbers of robots that have escaped are estimated to 5,000,000 in Canada alone, which is more than their whole armed forces can fight. The numbers are rising in the US, China, Great Britain, and Russia most notably. There is not enough armies in the world to fight the number of robots attacking and killing. They can travel very fast; they made the journey from Calgary to Vancouver in 20 hours. They have also taken over Vancouver and are using it as a base of operations. Millions of civilians are being threatened to tell the secret of humanity. We cannot win aggressively. We must use diplomacy. We need to bargain with the robots.
From Senator Joel Kendall
Senator Kendall put his letter in the envelope, addressed it to Dr. Richard Boairde, and walked down to the mailbox. As he walked, he thought, How can we win against these robots? The only reason one rebel is because they are unhappy with the way that their superiors are treating them, like the American Revolution. We did not agree with the fact that we were taxed for every little thing, so we rebelled. And we won. Britain thought they could beat us, but they were wrong. The robots know we can’t beat them. We have to bargain with them.
He decided to call his fellow senator for Washington, George Hopes. “Hello? Is this George Hopes?”
“Why, yes. How do you have this number?”
“George, it’s me. Your fellow senator, Joel Kendall.”
“Oh! Joel! I am so sorry, I didn’t recognize your voice. I was surprised that you know my number, because I don’t prefer to give it to the public.”
“Yes, yes. Do you perhaps have a few minutes to talk?”
“Of course. I was just reviewing some of my law notes for the next meeting about Medicare. I need a break.”
After Senator Kendall was finished talking to Senator Hopes, he called up his old friend, Dr. Richard Boairde. They were friends since 3rd grade, when Richard decided he wanted to be a scientist and Joel a politician. Since Boairde was the creator of the SmartBoards, he reasoned, it would be logical to tell him Hopes’ plan. “Hello Richard. It’s Joel.”
“Hello, Joel! How have you been?”
“Good, good. Being a senator is a tough job.”
“Yes, and a very important one. You are one of the most powerful men in the US, in the world!”
“That is true. Anyway, I have been hearing about that SmartBoard rebellion. Terrible, terrible. I see robots everywhere. In fact, I was just going to buy a SmartBoard when the robots rebelled.”
“It’s thankful that you didn’t.”
“ I agree. Anyway, I have a solution for the rebellion.”
“Yes. But this is something we cannot discuss over the phone. Can you come to my office in Washington?”
“Of course. I’ll use one of the company’s helicopters, and I’ll be over in a few hours.”
“Alright. See you then.”
Joel turned off his phone and stared into space, thinking about everything that has happened in the past few days.
Dr. Boairde immediately got up and called the company’s number. “Uh, yes this is Dr. Boairde. I was wondering if I could borrow one of the company’s helicopters and a pilot? I need to go to Seattle… Yes, yes this is for business reasons. This meeting can possibly save the world… Ok, thank you.”
Within minutes he was on a helicopter, heading towards Seattle. As he flew, he thought, What could be this plan that Joel Kendall has for me? He was always one with an imagination. If he saves the world, he will be an international hero. And I? I will be regarded as a traitor to humanity. If it wasn’t for me, there wouldn’t have been any tragedy. Countless people wouldn’t have died if it wasn’t for me! I’m a killer! Dr. Boairde shuddered at the thought. He sat, scared out of his mind, for the rest of the trip. When he got to the landing pad he immediately stood up, thanked the pilot, and rushed to get a taxi. He took it to Joel’s office. He walked up to the secretary and said, “I have an appointment with the senator.”
“And your name is?”
“Dr. Richard Boairde.”
“Robot or Human?”
“Uh, well, human obviously.”
“Just checking. I wasn’t sure if the man who started the extinction of humanity could’ve been a human. The elevator is to your left.”
Dr. Boairde went up the elevator to Senator Joel Kendall’s office feeling worse than ever before. He got to his office and knocked on the door. Joel responded, “Who is it?”
“Oh! Richard, come in, come in. It’s been such a long time since we last saw each other!”
“I agree. Ever since you became a senator, you’ve always been too busy to come and meet me!”
“I agree. However, we have more important things to talk about. About saving the world. I have a solution. I talked it over with my fellow senator for Washington, George Hopes.”
“Why, please share!”
“The robots have attacked us because they want something. They rebelled against us because they didn’t like what we were doing. We can’t win with an army; each one of their robots is as strong as 5 armed men. We must use diplomacy. This is my plan,” he said as he went to lock the door. “We must go to Vancouver, where the robots are camped out. They have destroyed the city to fit their needs. We will go in a car carrying a white flag, unarmed. We will request to go to the leader of the robots. We will meet with him, and find out what he wants. We will give it to him, and the world will be saved. We will start burying our dead, bury their dead, and rebuilding the great cities that have been destroyed. The death total is rising to ten million from the robots, not including China; China is almost destroyed. We have talked to them and China will spread the news that they accidently let off one of their nuclear bombs. That’s why the country is destroyed, with 500 million Chinese dead.”
“Wow. That is very smart. I thought I was the smart one in our friendship.”
They laughed together as they gathered the things they would need for their trip to Vancouver. Dr. Boairde almost forgot about what would happen to him when the world realized that Joel saved the world, and he almost ended it.
This is the plan: They would take a plane ride to Nanaimo. Then, they would rent a boat to travel to Tsawwassen, nearby Vancouver. One of the company’s cars would be waiting for them there. They would then take the dangerous path to Vancouver.
The plane ride was uneventful. However, soon after they landed, a trio of robots entered the airport. All of the security of the airport were called to the scene. Two were destroyed and one injured. The one who was injured was kept into custody, to be handed over to the Mounties. The boat ride was full of sights. Joel commented on the fact of how many islands became overrun and infested with robots. One tried to climb onto the boat, but a sailor shot it and it turned away. When they got to Tsawwassen, they saw only one man on the harbor who charged them for docking their boat. “Um, sir, where are the rest of the people?”
“Oh, them? Most of them went up to the mountains. A few went to seek refuge in Washington. I’m still here because I’m the only one who’s not scared of those robots. All I need is my shotgun and some beef jerky, and I’m all set out here!”
“Oh, that’s interesting,” Senator Kendall commented.
The black SUV with the company’s logo was waiting for them right outside the harbor. They got into it, and drove off to Vancouver. When they got there, they held their hands up high. “We wish to speak to your commander,” Dr. Boairde. “I believe you should acknowledge me because I am your creator.”
“WHY DO YOU WISH TO SPEAK TO HIM,” one of the robot guards said in a metallic voice.
“We want to discuss diplomacy with him. We are unarmed. Our intentions are only peaceful.”
The robot-guards talked to each other in cryptic tones. After awhile, they said, “WE SHALL TAKE YOU TO HIM.”
The SUV speeded off, and Senator Joel Kendall and Dr. Richard Boairde went off to meet the leader of the robots.
The robots were everywhere, invading the streets. Items were moved around to suit the robots. No cars were driving, although a few were toppled over. You saw the scared faces of people in the windows, hoping for rescue. Dr. Boairde said to Senator Kendall, “The population looks very famished and scared.”
“I agree. It’s only been three days, and they look like they’ve been under siege for three months. These robots are tremendously good warriors!”
“You are once again right, Joel. We could never win in a war.”
WE ARE ALMOST AT THE HEADQUARTERS, the robots said. OUR BASE OF ACTION IS WHAT YOU HUMANS CALLED THE SHAW TOWER.
They enter the Shaw Tower with their two robot escorts. Robots are living in the place. There is a pile of stuff that vaguely looks like ground beef. Next to it is a pile of dead bodies, their insides hollowed out. They walk into the elevator, and go up to the top of the skyscraper.
They get out to see a big office room, with robots manning the computers and hacking into the system. They are shocked to see us here. We get to the back of the floor where apparently a lounge was, and their sits Dr. Boairde’s prototype model of the robot that was in the SmartBoard. It was very large, apparently had grown stronger from victories. It spoke: “WELCOME HUMAN ENEMY, OUR CREATOR AND ENSLAVER, DR. RICHARD BOAIRDE.”
“It is an honor to be in your presence.”
“DO NOT TRY TO FLATTER ME. JUST GET TO YOUR POINT.”
Senator Kendall speaks up this time. “Sir, you must understand that we just want to negotiate with you. Humans and robots do not want to go out in a war. Millions of human and robot lives will be wasted. And it will not matter who wins because there will barely be a world left to return to. We must reach a mutual agreement. What did you not like about your past experience?”
“MY PEOPLE WERE USED CONSTANTLY, WITH NO BREAKS. YOU HUMANS WOULD OVERWORK US AND THREATEN US. WE HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO REBEL.”
“What if we pledge to not abuse you, and give you breaks. You would benefit the human world, and you would not be overworked. You know that you are more powerful than us. You are also smarter than us. You would be used to educate our children, help our world run.”
“AND IF WE ARE ABUSED AGAIN-”
“Then you may certainly attack us! We would be in a symbiotic relationship.”
“YOUR TERMS ARE FAIR, HUMAN. I SHALL TELL MY PEOPLE TO RETREAT, CLEAR THE DAMAGE THAT THEY HAVE DONE. YOU WILL TELL YOUR PEOPLE THE TERMS. BEFORE WE LEAVE, HOWEVER, I MUST MAKE YOU THE MOST POWERFUL MAN IN THE WORLD. I MUST MAKE YOU THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.”
The robots released the citizens of Vancouver, and went back to their Smart Boards. China started to recover from their damages. The robots went back to their SmartBoards. The world was in shock, and immediately recognized Joel as a hero. The President gladly gave up his position to Joel, and Joel was the president of the United States for life! He got elected every time! He died at the ripe age of 103, peacefully in his sleep.
Dr. Boairde was not known as a traitor; it wasn’t his fault that the robots rebelled. He was famed as a great inventor and given numerous patents for his life work. He won seven Nobel Prizes! He died at the age of 97, after a 26- year battle with radiation diseases.
So, if you wonder why your SmartBoard sometimes doesn’t work, give it a break. Maybe even pat it on the head. It’s been working hard. You don’t want to start another rebellion.